Bullying

Bullying

By Anna Simulis

 We hear so much these days about bullying.  Often we think of obvious and heinous acts by older children involving chronic name calling and physical assault. Unfortunately, bullying is starting younger and younger but we can sometimes dismiss it as just “being mean” and miss an opportunity to talk with young children about this serious topic.  Children who are bullied are often shy, withdrawn or lack self-esteem.  This makes them perfect targets for the bullies who, contrastingly, are often strong-willed and natural leaders.  However, more and more people are finding that those that bully only present as self-confident and are really masking their own insecurities of wanting to be liked or popular and as a result are bullying peers so that the focus shifts from themselves.  This is important because both the bully and the bullied need help in finding better ways to interact with peer and addressing underlying self-image issues.

It is also important to remember that bullies are not always the biggest and strongest.  There is a rise of “mean girl” behavior that has unfortunately become socially acceptable and has been heightened by social media.  Bullying occurs when there is inequality in a relationship, “the power imbalance can come from a number of sources—popularity, strength, cognitive ability—and children who bully may have more than one of these characteristics.” (stopbullying.gov).

Do:

• Intervene immediately.
• Separate the kids involved.
• Make sure everyone is safe.
• Meet any immediate medical or mental health needs.
• Stay calm. Reassure the kids involved, including bystanders.
• Model respectful behavior when you intervene.

Avoid these common mistakes:

• Don’t ignore it. Don’t think kids can work it out without adult help.
• Don’t immediately try to sort out the facts.
• Don’t force other kids to say publicly what they saw.
• Don’t question the children involved in front of other kids.
• Don’t talk to the kids involved together, only separately.
• Don’t make the kids involved apologize or patch up relations on the spot. (stopbullying.gov). 

Above all, we want the kids in our care to feel safe and free to be themselves.  Let your kiddos know that it is not tattling to tell when someone is saying hurtful things are someone could be in danger.  Remembering the age old saying, “sticks and stones can break your bones but words can break your heart,” let’s keep in mind that you do not have to be “sensitive” to be hurt by unkind words and let’s face it you do not have to have a good memory for those comments to stay with you for a lifetime.  Try this strategy: read the book How Full is Your Bucket and put a clear jar in a high traffic area and any time someone is caught being kind they can put a cotton ball or pompom in the bucket.  When the bucket is full the group earns a reward.  Check out www.stopbullying.gov for webisodes to discuss with your group and other helpful hints. 

Autism

Understanding Autism a Little Better

By Anna Simulis, LCSW-C, Lower Shore Early Intervention Program

Autism is a growing concern in childhood mental health.  It seems the diagnosis has multiplied several times since even a decade ago.  However, even though more awareness than ever is being brought to this diagnosis, adults are still unclear as to how to pinpoint what Autism really is and what to do if the symptoms exist. 

The first things to consider are the symptoms that qualify a child for Autism.  The diagnostic manual used for mental health professionals explains that there are 3 major categories of symptoms that must exist in order for a diagnosis to be considered; impairment in social interactions, impairments in communication, and restricted repetitive and stereotypes patterns of behavior, interests and activities (DSM IV, 2003).  Now, I am sure many of you are thinking that describes most of my kids but there are specific symptoms in each of the three categories that have to be met.

 Impairment in Social Interaction

·         Impairment in the use of non-verbal behaviors such as eye contact, facial expressions, body posture or gestures

·         Failure to develop peer relationships

·         A lack of spontaneous seeking to share enjoyment or interests with others (that kid who could play all day by himself)

·         Lack of social and emotional reciprocity

 Impairment in Communication

·         Delay in or total lack of spoken language

·         Impairment in ability to sustain or initiate a conversation

·         Repetitive use of language

·         Lack of make-believe or imitative play

 Restricted Repetitive Stereotypes Behaviors

·         Obsessive preoccupation with one interests that is abnormal in intensity

·         Inflexibility to routines (the one who has a meltdown if today for a change you do circle before snack)

·         Repetitive motor mannerisms

·         Preoccupation with parts of objects (taking stuff apart)

In order to qualify for an Autism diagnosis a child needs to exhibit at least 6 of these symptoms and at least one from each category.  Also, most interestingly the behaviors have to have existed prior to age 3. 

These children are often difficult to handle in a classroom and can be labeled as defiant, ADHD, needy etc.  It is important that we have all the information and if we have concerns we discuss them with the parents.  Only a doctor or mental health clinician can give a diagnosis.  If you feel more information about Autism would help to enrich your skills please call the Lower Shore Early Intervention Program at 410-677-6590.  Also, please consider coming to our February 6^th training at SU on early intervention for children with Autism.  There are many resources available for these families but many go undiagnosed or worse, misdiagnosed.  We are the front lines in identifying these children and getting them the help they need to become the successful adults they can be.  

Get more information on signs, symptoms and treatment options at:

 http://www.autismspeaks.org/what-autism/symptoms

(Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders Fourth Edition, 2003)

Self Control: Some Suggestions

Teaching Children Self-Control

Taken from www.ehow.com

            Children need to learn young how to control their bodies and environment. It is the parent or caregiver’s responsibility to help children control aggression and learn other techniques to express their emotions.

Steps:

1.      Model appropriate behavior. Children imitate what they see and experience. Aggressive discipline will result in aggressive behavior in children toward other children and even the parent.

2.      Inspect your house or classroom for possible aggression traps. Is there enough room for children to play together and independently? Are there enough materials for each child to interact with? Does each child receive an equal amount of positive attention from the caregiver?

3.      Teach children control early. As soon as a child throws his or her first temper tantrum, begin to talk about different situations and the emotions they evoke. Say things like, “It’s OK to be angry when your tower falls, but throwing blocks is not nice. Try again. Ms. Amy doesn’t like biting. Biting hurts. Hitting is not nice. Please don’t use your hands that way.” Use a firm voice but avoid yelling. Yelling is a form of aggression.

4.      Intervene immediately. When a child becomes aggressive toward others or toward his or her own body have a time out period to calm down before discussing the behavior and alternative behaviors.

5.      Focus your attention on the hurt child. Even negative attention will reinforce aggressive behavior. Put the aggressor in time out, walk away, and comfort the hurt child. When the aggressor leaves time out with your permission, have him or her do something nice for the hurt child, such as giving a favorite blanket or toy.

6.      Teach children to be assertive and ask for what they want instead of being aggressive and demanding. When a child screams and throws an empty juice cup across the room, say, “Do you want more juice? All you have to do is say, ‘Ms. Amy, can I have more juice?’ And I will get it for you”.

7.      Role-play with older children. Make a list of scenarios and ways to ask for things such as snacks, a drink, or free time. Talk openly with children about feelings and emotions. Discuss different possible responses or refer to the list every time a child uses aggression.

8.      Be consistent. Let the children in your care know that aggression is never tolerated. 

   For more tips check out this link:

http://www.ehow.com/how_4782703_teach-kids-selfcontrol.html

ADHD: Hyper or Hype?

There is an awful lot of chatter about ADHD these days.  The truth is that there is not a scientific method for determining whether or not a child has ADHD.  Your pediatrician or child psychiatrist will use the DSM-V as a guide to determine if your child meets the eligbility criteria.  However, many of the same symptoms occur when children are anxious, depressed or experiencing trauma so it can be hard to flesh out what belongs to which.  Check out this link for the diagnostic criteria:  http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/adhd/diagnosis.html
 

Center for Social Emotional Foundations for Early Learning (CSEFEL)

CSEFEL is a great resource with a lot of helpful strategies. We use this program with childcare providers.  See what we have been up to.
CSEFEL link for helpful strategies

The Lower Shore Early Intervention Program

The Lower Shore Early Intervention Program is an early identification and care giver education and consultation program.  We aim to help parents and child care providers recognize what are truly concerning behaviors versus developmental milestones or delays, and how to prevent the behavior from becoming the imprint for the child's future behaviors.  LSEIP wants to empower parents; we want to help parents question and consider if there are more than just typical behavioral issues going on (medical issue, past trauma, delays, etc.) which may have not been identified previously. 

The Lower Shore Early Intervention Program (LSEIP) serves the birth-to-five population in child care by consulting with parents and caretakers in their efforts to address a child’s behavior issues. We evaluate behaviors and consult with caregivers by providing specific, consistent techniques to use that will help improve behaviors.  Referrals to mental health clinicians and other community agencies for continuing supportive services may be made, if there is need for additional services upon completion of LSEIP’s plan of action for the child.

LSEIP is committed to helping our children become socially and emotionally ready for kindergarten.  We believe that when a child is not emotionally ready for school, he or she may not be capable of academic success.  Please partner with us as a community to help children become more emotionally ready for school and life!

Lower Shore Early Intervention Program * Suite 500, East Campus Complex, Salisbury University, Salisbury, MD  21801 *

Phone: 410-677-6590 * Fax: 410-677-0206 * www.lowershoreccrc.org